The holidays have ALWAYS been extremely difficult for me. I have never liked Christmas and have a illogical phobia of Christmas trees. I am proud to say that I put up two this year all by myself and decorated them, one at the office, one at home. That was a very big deal (YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE), and I did it - TWICE!
Usually around September or October I start taking anti-depressants (or extra anti-depressants) so that they can build up by Christmas. The past two years I haven't done that, and it has been rough, but not as bad as I thought it would be when I look back on it. By the time things start really getting bad, it is November, and I am scrambling to get a prescription written and the meds don't kick in in time anyway.
Again this year I am not taking ANYTHING. It is a good feeling, but I feel bad for Janya as she has to live with me. I know I will hear many times, "Don't ya think ya should have just taken the meds?" But it is just something I have to do; I can't explain it. It is a fight I have to win, to get to the end of the dark tunnel and into the light in January. Well, actually, I don't usually feel back to "normal" until around February.
So do any of you take meds just for the holidays? Should you be and you don't? How do you get through it?
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I know I did!
Peace,
~b~
Hi Beth. I've read your blog for a few months. I've mainly struggled with intrusive thoughts as well.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of meds, I decided to treat my OCD with them, and since it greatly improved I've tapered them. I still have some symptoms sometimes, but they're manageable.
Back on your blog post, do you only feel depressed during the holidays or do you also have obsessive intrusive thoughts? A few years ago, when I was in a tough OCD period, I usually felt anxious if I knew a particular holiday or a birthday of a person I love was coming up, and had intrusive negative thoughts. I have a Facebook profile (Emma Pillsbury), you can add me if you wish.
Take care! <3