Wednesday, July 28, 2010


Last Thursday, my boss was stopped in the hall by an attorney at another office on this floor. She said, "I see you've got a new office manager." He replied, "She's been here since August!" When he returned, he relayed the story to me. I responded, "Well, actually, I've been here since July" because I started on July 20th, my daughter's birthday. That's how I remembered. He said, "Well, I guess you are expecting a raise, then."

So long story short, he was leaving town Saturday, so he gave me my raise to put on my post dated August 1st paycheck. Thank you very much, boss!

So he's out of state, swimming, rafting, golfing, horseback riding. What's going on in his head instead of all that? He e-mailed me yesterday to inform me that, yes, I had started on July 20th, 2009, but that was as a contract worker. He didn't actually start paying me a salary until August 1st, so August 1st is my "anniversary" date.

Okay, I have never worked in a firm before. I didn't even know what an anniversary date was. I assumed it was the day you started the job. So all day yesterday after getting that e-mail my mind was caught in another stupid loop with this... he is angry, I was stupid, he thinks I'm trying to take his money.... not to mention that my brain has repeating this song for days:

I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key.
I think that we should get together and try them out you see.
I been looking around awhile
You've got something for me
Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key

Where the heck did that come from? Haven't heard that song in years.

So when the boss called in at the end of the day, I said, "I guess I can write my old amount on my August 15th paycheck if you want." He said, "I don't know what you're talking about." When I told him I could make up the extra money, he said that he didn't mind paying it this once but in the future to remember that my anniversary date is August, not July.

So that final conversation is going around and around in my head now. On one of the Facebook pages I'm on, a guy was talking about his intrusive thoughts he was having at night while trying to go to sleep. He said that once his brain got in a loop, he would clap very loud, one loud clap, maybe two, and it would break the loop. There are times when I see something, like a spider, for instance, or hear a song, or experience a stressful conversation. I say to myself, "Don't think about this. Red flag here. It's going to go into a loop." And usually, since I'm trying not to think about it, the loop begins. So I'm going to try the clapping thing right when it happens. Have any of you tried this? If all the people with intrusive thoughts in the world would clap to scare away intrusive thoughts, think of all the applause in the world! And think about all the other people watching us clapping for out of the blue. They're all going to think we're a bunch of idiots,; but, hey, don't they already?


1 comment:

  1. Interesting distraction technique. I think if I clapped every time I had a thought that was about to loop, my boyfriend would move out! I actually just talked about this dilemma (thought loops, not my boyfriend moving out) with my therapist yesterday. She said the solution to looping thoughts is to stop thinking about it as soon as you start or to not let yourself think about it at all. WHAT? I tried to get her to explain that to me a couple of times and I just do not get it. HOW am I supposed to not think about the thought that is running a persistent loop in my head? If it's as simple as not thinking about it, why haven't I done that before? I try so hard not to think about some things, but usually to no avail. Ugh! Sometimes I hate my mind!