Thursday, August 5, 2010

Dead Bodies

When I Googled images of dead bodies, I was afraid of what I would get and if I could handle the pictures. The past two nights and days I have been dreaming and thinking about dead bodies. In last night's dream, there was a dead body sort of like the one above, and everyone was waiting around day after day to see if it would look "more dead" as time went on.
Two nights ago, I had an extremely violent and bloody dream of people being murdered in a house. One of the people was a friend of mine I haven't seen in a year or more. Her little girl and I were dragging the bodies out of the house and stacking them in a car. Suddenly my friend opened her eyes and moaned to let me know she was still alive. So the little girl and I were just about to drive her and the dead bodies to a hospital, when all of the sudden, the murderer came back and we were forced to leave on foot to hide. When we came back hours later, my friend was dead.
Now, I know this dream is silly, but ever since yesterday morning I have had to force myself not to give into the urge of calling my friend and just remind her to "be careful." I by no means believe myself to be a psychic, but if anything should happen to her in the very near future or even distance future, I will hate myself for not having warned her.
It's like when I kept "seeing" Kaylee Anthony" buried near a picnic table. I actually had to force myself not to call the police to tell them to dig near a picnic table. She was, as you may recall, found in a park, not buried, and nowhere has a picnic table been mentoned.
Anyway, I am stuck with guilt feelings right now for not calling my friend because I don't want to look stupid and I don't want her to perceive that I think I know everything.


  1. Sounds like some pretty classic OC thinking to me! Good for you for holding out and not calling...if you don't do anything about it, the guilt should subside on its just have to wait it out, which I know is tough. You can do it! I hope you're feeling better soon.

  2. I don't think your dream is silly. It sounds scary. I went through a bad ocd flare about 20 years ago--I'd read about a man who was attacking women near my college campus, and I was seized with the fear that I must warn every woman I knew, or it would be my fault if they got attacked. I started making copies of the newspaper article, and was putting it in some of my friend's mailboxes--I had that awful ocd guilt mixed with fear of looking crazy. ocd would like us to take responsibility for a lot of stuff--but humans can't prevent all danger, and ocd will exhaust you in the process. It's hard waiting out the guilt--hang in there!