Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Hidden Compulsion

Do any of you have hidden compulsions? I have one. Only J and my therapist know about it. I guess it started about four or five years ago. Even though it is hidden, it is my worst one. It effects me the most and is the most self-damaging. My therapist had addressed it with CBT, but for some reason, we stopped. In fact, we have basically stopped CBT altogether. I wonder why that is? I digress.

If I had no other compulsions, no one would know about my OCD because no one actually sees me doing this. So I guess what I want to say is this: don't automatically assume that someone does not have OCD because 1) you can't see what is going on in their head, i.e. obsessions and intrusive thoughts, and 2) there may be a hidden compulsion that you are not aware of.

My "Do you have your keys" question has gone away, thanks to J jingling her keys as we're walking out the door. It used to be, "Are we okay?" Now, I need to work on "Are you mad at me" before I drive her crazy.
As Gilda Radner used to say, "It's always something." He he.



1 comment:

  1. Most of my OCD is hidden, and most people don't know I have OCD. I am able to be honest with my therapist though, and that is helping me chip away at the toxic beliefs about myself and my mental compulsions.