It seems it never ends; I am always obsessing about something and trying desperately not to say anything about it to Janya cuz I know she gets so tired of hearing all about it.
So yesterday I noticed a small circle on my upper thigh and a lighter one next to it. It looked like the imprint of a ring or something. Since I own no such ring, I immediately thought of ringworm, which, of course, leads me to thinking that I have worms throughout my body. My mother, a nurse, assured me that ringworm is not actually a worm but a fungus on one's skin, but you know me: worms, worms, worms, worms.
I looked "ringworm" up on the internet. My "circle" is not red or puffy like the ones in the pictures. In fact, today it looks lighter. Janya swears she can't see it; that it's not there at all, BUT I SEE IT!
The internet says you can get ringworm from animals, but I haven't been around any animals except for my friend's day the day before yesterday.
Every little stomach twitch or sound convinces me even more that I HAVE WORMS in my body. Time to go chill out for awhile and think about worms.
I get this! This was me before meds. Non stop phantom ailments that felt so real. Even now, from time to time, I wake up thinking I have or I will have ALS - amylotrophic lateral sclerosis- the terminal neurodegenerative disorder. I work it by telling myself "well, if you do, it will declare itself". In other words, I try not to spend time on subtle body sensations and ailments. REal things make themselves known. If no one else sees it, it probably isn't there. If it is, it will become more obvious. For me it is a form of "postponement" and it seems to help.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. Oh, and I love your wordless Wednesdays. Great Blog.